So the car won’t be fixed until tomorrow and it’ll be about $200.00 which is about a $100.00 more than I expected or wanted. I hate cars. Well I love them when they work. I can do smaller stuff on them but major repairs I don’t do. Car mechanics have our balls in a vice people. Gotta love it.

So I’m at home. Work can stop pestering me over stupid BS anytime now. WHEN I leave they’re going to freak trying to find someone else to wipe their ass for them, that’s all I can say.

Read this today on Buttercup’s journal (She rocks by the way)- “You will draw to yourself that which you most persistently think about” – Robert Anthony.

I have no idea if it was meant for me since she said it was to a specific person. I’m not that specific. So anyway it got me to thinking, and I suppose there is some general truth to it, but at the same time if you take it literally it can lead to false hope. Am I right? If I persistently think about winning a million dollars, the fact is that will not most likely happen. If I persistently think positively rather than negatively then yeah I can see this working to a degree. Also when dumb stupid crap happens all the time to bring you down it’s hard to think about positive things. The key is focus and that can be difficult as hell. Especially when it pertains to finances as we all know. As one of the more negative people I know…that’s me…I can honestly say I try and pick out the good positive things amidst all the BS. I’m a walking mish mash of good and bad, although frankly internally I tend to focus on the negative and to others I tend to focus on the positive. So where does this leave me?…us?…I don’t know. I’m just rambling because I’m stuck at home today…:)

So I leave you with what today I am persistently thinking about. Tomorrow it may change, which screws up the formula I’m pretty sure.

1. A way out of this mess

2. The security to live, love and be happy

3. To just enjoy life while I can

4. To create music

That’s it…nothing too specific. So for Buttercup I leave you this…it came to me at a time when I myself was thinking about some people I know and I thought the words could help in some way. Perhaps I should listen to myself more often.

Hopes and dreams and promises,

Held by domination

A bitter life filled with apathy,

On the path to ruin

Don�t you see what I see, I see someone that�s beautiful

Take my hand, embrace hope, dry your tears your not alone

Sinking, drowning air to breathe,

The bottom closing in

I have no doubt you�ll rise again,

To be the one you�re meant to be

Don�t you see what I see, I see someone that�s beautiful

Take my hand, embrace hope, dry your tears your not alone

Deep inside feel the need, it�s in your heart to be free

Lift your arms, spread your wings, you will shine, you�re coming home

Beyond reflection lies so much more

Despite the suffocation

Temptation will be hard to bear,

Just stand your ground and be strong

Don�t you see what I see, I see someone that�s beautiful

Take my hand, embrace hope, dry your tears your not alone

Deep inside feel the need, it�s in your heart to be free

Lift your arms, spread your wings, you will shine, you�re coming home