Expect nothing…

I am slowly tuning out everyone and everything. Cutting myself off. Retreating into the cave. Closing my eyes and ears. No one exists except the circle I let in. I am bored with almost everyone and everything. Just the daily routine of people is grating on my nerves. Is this healthy?. Probably not. But then I actually sat down and wrote a song last night. I started it yesterday afternoon since Z was still sick. Got the basic idea down and then since I couldn’t sleep last night I decided to finish it. So I need lyrics and vocals. So it has begun…I have finally started the process of something new musically. Funny how when I’m pissed at virtually everyone, I can just crank shit out. Actually I shouldn’t say pissed. Just….well….Aggravated I guess. Whatever.

Will Z is forcing his way in to come over Saturday despite my shitty disposition…brave soul that Will. So perhaps it’ll do me some good to be around someone. I am attempting the Den tonight as well against my better judgement. I need to talk to Joe so I’ll risk alcohol and potential drama of some kind.

Oh in the words of Lee Ving….Fuck Christmas.

Oh and should anyone think me a scrooge of somekind, I did think of two things good about Christmas this year. We are actually still ALIVE. The Styk family household that is. Not exactly what I would call “living” but alive and still healthy other than the flu of death circling. So that is good. The other good thing is I will get to see my Brother who will be visiting from New York. At the risk of being labeled a sensitive wuss, I miss the hell out of him. Last time I checked it’s ok to miss your Brother so fuck you…:)

Perhaps he’ll take us all back with him…?